


Nothing Ever Happens on the Night Shift

by Ack_Emma



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale on his knees twice, Be kind to each other, Blow Jobs, Cheesy Lines, Cheesy Porn Tropes, Come Swallowing, Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley wearing white, Fanart, Flirting, It sure worked for Crowley, M/M, My First Smut, NSFW Art, Office Blow Jobs, Office Worker Aziraphale, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Security Guard Crowley, Smut, flirty redhead gets sucked off for being helpful at his job, is that why he keeps a box of tissues on his desk?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:42:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29036415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ack_Emma/pseuds/Ack_Emma
Summary: Security guard Crowley helps Aziraphale out when he's locked out of his office.Aziraphale is grateful.Verygrateful.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 161
Collections: Ineffablexxx - Directors Cut





	Nothing Ever Happens on the Night Shift

Night shift as a security guard was pretty boring, for the most part. The job was in a featureless, rectangular office building that corporate drones flooded into and out of at predictable times. A hive of activity during business hours, Crowley usually didn’t see anything at night, walking the floors of the building on his rounds. 

He’d certainly never seen one of the stuck-up suits on his knees by an office door, clumsily trying to pick the lock. The familiar logo on the ID badge clipped to his jacket meant he was probably an employee. 

Not even trying to hide his smirk, Crowley sauntered over and interrupted the man’s fruitless efforts.

“Oi! You trying to break in?”

The fellow startled backwards and scrambled up to his feet, fluttering hands dropping the stretched out paper clip he’d been twisting into the lock.

“Oh, I’m not trying to break in! I’ve never broken into anything before! I don’t even know how!” Rumpled though he was, his cream-coloured suit and tartan bowtie lent the would-be criminal a staid, respectable air. Tufted blond hair and expressive gray eyes feigned an impressive facsimile of innocence.

Crowley arched one dark eyebrow and reached a long arm over to try the still-securely-locked door. “Obviously.” Leaning into the man’s personal space, Crowley read his badge. “Aziraphale Fell.”

“I work here, you see, and I forgot a report I need to look over tonight.” Aziraphale’s heart sank as he remembered the way Gabriel had yelled at him in front of the whole office today, deriding his incompetence. He couldn't leave the work undone, he didn't want to get Gabriel upset with him tomorrow, too. “I have a key to the office,” Aziraphale made a show of looking around and patting his various pockets. “Must have put it down here somewhere.” His search turning up nothing, Aziraphale looked up and read the embroidered name on the guard’s uniform. “Anthony.”

“Crowley. Even my own mother doesn't call me Anthony.” Aziraphale nodded, a slightly pleading expression directed Crowley’s way. Despite the fine mess he was in, though, Aziraphale could still take a moment to appreciate the scenery. 

The security guard’s plain white shirt and navy trousers were fit so tightly they managed to accentuate his wiry frame, the swing of his hips when he walked, the breadth of his strong-looking hands. The uniform colours would have been bland on anyone else but on Crowley it was a stark backdrop to highlight the warm hue of his skin, his deeply auburn hair. Aziraphale found he rather didn’t mind being right where he was, at the moment.

“Lost your key, have you?” Crowley tilted his head consideringly and walked a semi-circle around Aziraphale. “Your lot doesn’t pay for after-hours service. I’m supposed to make you wait for the morning before issuing a replacement key or letting you in.”

“Oh, the morning! Even if I get here right when the office opens I won’t have nearly enough time to go over the report.” Aziraphale threw up his hands despairingly and looked around helplessly before trying a different tack. 

“I’ve seen you around, you know,” Aziraphale wheedled, in what he hoped was a friendly manner. “When I stay at the office late. Quite punctual, you walk past this spot every hour on the hour.” Aziraphale smiled and nodded as he picked up steam. “You say hi to all the cleaners and know their names, are always so neatly dressed -” Aziraphale noticed a bulge in Crowley’s trousers and, before his better judgment could kick in, gestured foolishly at it. “I say, is that -”

“A flashlight in my pocket? Yeah, it is.” Crowley drew the torch from his pocket, flipped it once in the air and caught it with the same hand. He laughed. “Were you going to ask if I was just happy to see you?”

Aziraphale ducked his head and tried to smile bashfully. He laughed as well, quite adorably.

“I’ve seen you around, too,” Crowley grinned. “What’s the big panic over this report? Do you have an important deadline or something?”

“My boss has been a bit tetchy lately. I’m in his bad books already, I received a reprimand today for what he said were too many frivolous side projects. He gave me a last-minute review to do tonight and I was so distressed by the tongue lashing I’d already received I forgot to bring the report home with me,” Aziraphale explained beseechingly.

It worked. With a flourish Crowley produced his keyring, unlocked the door, and held it open.

“Oh, thank you!” Aziraphale’s pleased smile was full of bright sunshine and relief. He held Crowley’s eyes for a moment before walking ahead, Crowley following him inside.

Once through the door, Aziraphale’s posture relaxed. The office was open-concept with hardly anything in it, mostly fluorescent lights and empty space. Aziraphale strode to a cluttered desk tucked in an alcove and started to lift and look at documents in a variety of piles. Crowley made sure the desk name plate matched Aziraphale’s ID badge then slouched against the edge and watched.

Within a minute Aziraphale picked up a thick, bound report that looked identical to about twenty others on his desk.

“That’s it,” he smoothed the cover reassuringly. “Not a page out of place.” He fished a key out from under a porcelain mug with wings and held it up to show Crowley it matched the one he’d used to unlock the door.

“Oh, I believed you when you said you worked here. If you lined up everyone in the whole world and asked them where they’d like to break and enter, nobody at all would pick this office.” 

Aziraphale put the items down and turned to face him. 

“I’m very grateful,” he offered quietly, eyes looking Crowley up and down. They lingered a moment on his left hand, seeing there was no ring. “What about if I show you how grateful?” He stepped closer to Crowley and rested one hand on the desk’s edge, leaning into his space.

Nothing in the security guard training manual had prepared Crowley for this. “Ngk.”

Aziraphale took that as an encouraging sign and took another step closer. Reaching his hands a few inches from Crowley’s belt, he made unbuckling motions. “May I?”

Crowley nodded vigorously, carefully-styled hair flopping against his forehead as Aziraphale opened the silver buckle and undid his trousers. He carefully pulled the white uniform shirt up and wiggled the navy trousers and underpants down Crowley’s narrow hips. The minute the trousers reached Crowley’s thighs the weight of the walkie-talkie clipped to the waist dragged them all the way down, the device hitting the floor with a dramatic thump.

“I’m not a locksman, as you saw earlier,” Aziraphale said throatily, looking at Crowley through flirtatiously-lowered lashes. “But I am a bit more expert doing other things on my knees.” 

As Crowley’s brain exploded in disbelief, Aziraphale lowered himself very precisely to one knee, then tucked the other one beneath him. He pulled Crowley’s hard cock out from behind his shirt, brought his face close to it, and breathed in the scent of his arousal.

Crowley leaned back fully against the desk and gripped the edge with both hands. He stared, mesmerized, at the kneeling angel whose face was practically buried in his crotch. Aziraphale licked a thumb and ran it over the slit at the head of Crowley’s cock, the sudden stimulation causing his hips to jerk forward involuntarily. 

Holding Crowley’s cock in one hand, Aziraphale dragged his tongue up and down the length of him, taking his time to taste and savour his prick. He brazenly returned Crowley’s gaze while planting sucking, wet kisses on his balls and tonguing circles around the base of his dick, teasing out moans and increasingly heavy panting from Crowley. Aziraphale paused every once in a while to lick his lips and hum appreciatively.

Half-wrecked already from all the stimulation, Crowley took a moment to notice the size of Aziraphale's own "flashlight", pressing against the front of his cream-coloured trousers. Aziraphale noticed Crowley noticing and shot him a smug, knowing look. 

Aziraphale then flattened his tongue and lapped at the darkened head a few times. He used his left hand to grip Crowley’s hip and his right hand to give Crowley’s cock an appraising pump. Satisfied that the redhead was thoroughly primed, Aziraphale took the upper half of Crowley’s prick into his mouth and closed his lips and tongue around him. Stroking a steady pace, Aziraphale used his mouth to work Crowley’s cock in time with the pumping of his hand.

Crowley let his head fall completely back and emitted a series of helpless groans. His hips twitched as his body tried to chase more pleasure by thrusting further into Aziraphale’s hot, wet mouth. But held firmly at the base of his cock and with his hip pressed against the desk, Crowley was pinned in place and could really only lean back and take what Aziraphale gave him.

As Crowley’s excitement mounted and he lost progressively more control of, well, everything, Aziraphale increased his speed and started to purse his lips tighter around the head when he plunged down. The sight and sensation of that pretty, pink mouth working with such urgency brought Crowley to his peak, and his body curled and stiffened as he spurted four times into Aziraphale’s mouth.

Swallowing with delicious, satisfied noises, Aziraphale kept going until Crowley came down from his climax and reached out to caress the soft, blond hair. Pulling off slowly, Aziraphale dabbed at his lips with a tissue from his desk and both men straightened their clothing.

“I should forget things at my desk more often,” Aziraphale smiled, eyes twinkling. Still flushed from the orgasm and a bit shocked, Crowley just let his mouth hang open.

“You work nights most of the time?” Aziraphale gave a pleased wiggle and a playful squeeze to Crowley’s arm before gathering his belongings and leaving the office. After he left Crowley used the moment alone to take a deep breath. He let out a slow exhale.

“Guess night shifts won’t be so uneventful anymore,” he said to the empty room before hurrying out.

Long legs easily catching up to Aziraphale, Crowley gave a shy smile as he brushed past, distracting the blond so Crowley could pick the office key out of his suit jacket pocket.

**Author's Note:**

> That key is going to have a permanent home, "forgotten" under the winged mug. 😉
> 
> \---
> 
> [doorwaytoparadise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doorwaytoparadise/pseuds/doorwaytoparadise)/[nothistoryart](https://twitter.com/nothistoryart) drew _incredible_ art based on this fic! 😍 So evocative and their attention to detail is stunning! Please check it out [here](https://twitter.com/nothistoryart/status/1356105150436405248/photo/1)!


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